build your core values

As I read and listen to the news about all the things going on, it hurts my heart terribly. Why can’t it be better than it is? There has to be an answer that works for all concerned. I know the world changes, but things should always continue to be better, not worse.

I want to relate experiences I had when I was a little girl. I was probably about 6-7 years old221_0016 and lived in the city (Brooklyn, NY). There, I found myself busy with all my toys, friends, school and my parents. I played a lot alone, as I was the only child. All of my cousins were older than I was or didn’t live close by.  My friends and I had particular times when we could play outside. We would go by each other’s home, but mostly we played outdoors. I liked it. We had plenty of room to run around, play hide n’ go seek, ball, potsy (chalk boxes with numbers) that we play with a coin or something. The point was you had to go from #1 to #5 (or #8) without touching down with two feet. What great memories. I couldn’t pick up a phone and tell them (friends) to ask if they could come by. In fact, I didn’t use the telephone unless a relative called, and my parents told me to say ‘hello’.


So, this is a part of the life of this little girl. I hope it doesn’t sound like I didn’t enjoy my time as a little girl. I did, and I learned to play by myself; being Mommy, Daddy, Brother, Sister, Teacher and Friend (to myself J ) while I play house with my dolls. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my childhood. It was at special times that I had wished I had a sibling.

I liked the time when dinner was completed, dishes done and put away. My parents were ready to come outside and visit with our neighbors, as we children would go the two or three houses (farthest we could go) one way or the other to play. In others words, I could go play up to three doors away from where I lived. We had to be in a space where our parents could see us at all times. Whatever adults were outside would assume that they had permission to watch us and chastise us if we were doing anything that appeared beyond what our parents would have permitted. I do remember parents would call me or anyone else out, if they thought we were beyond where I was allowed to go, or do anything which I wouldn’t do if they (parents) weren’t right there watching me.


What am I getting at by telling you these things? Well, I heard something on the news today, and it talked about the relationship or lack thereof that people have with the police these days. I’ve thought about that a lot recently upon hearing so much stuff over the news. Our relationship with the police was great, because we knew them, and they knew us. Yes, they came in two’s and walked what they called ‘a beat’ (some of you may remember this). We knew their names, and they knew ours. Our parents knew them by name. They would greet us (children) and our parents. In fact, we’d see them coming from way down the block and would run to meet them. They would ask us how we were doing in school, explain to us the importance of listening to our parents, etc. It was nice. I think having that interaction made the police more human and not just a person in a uniform. They seemed really interested in us, and what we were doing in school, etc.  It was great days, and somehow we were reassured we were on the right track as our parents would encourage us to continue.

Sometimes, as I think back or watch the news today, I wonder what happen to the neighborhood. Oh, should I ask.. what is a neighborhood today? People come and go. We wave to one another, then we go inside our home and stay there until it’s time to come out again. On occasion, there might be a moment or two to visit. In some cases, people become friends.  ‘Suburbia’ is what we call outside of the city limits. We stay in our houses for the most part and mind our business.  In the city limits, there is energy. Kids running around, pets outside with the owners and neighbors visiting on the porch or in the yard. Basically, people moving about. It was a scene that was very active and lots going on. People were visiting together talking about the day’s events or catching up on what’s been happening with one another.


I miss that today. I see my neighbors from time to time. What about you? Do you visit or interact with your neighbors on a regular basis? I believe more people do that when they live in an inner city environment. My street is really nice, but most of the folks on this street do not know one another (I would assume). Even neighbors on one side of the street or the other generally wave and get in the car or stay in the house. There are rare times when you meet and spend quality time together. How does it work for you in your neighborhood? Children bring the grownups/adults together. No children, few connections.  It doesn’t exist. However, I am not saying every single neighborhood is exactly like this. I have talked with folks who talk, greet and are acquainted with people in their neighborhood. This doesn’t necessarily mean they go in and out of each other’s home at all. It just means the bonds are deeper.

Coming from an inner-city, you have no choice other than to speak. Speaking/walking with people to/from the train station, or others walking past your house will often smile and say ‘hello’. What a movement that would be here where I live. People are kind, but not very open. Most park their car, get out and head straight into the house. They stay there until they need to get in their car again and leave. I am very used to the drill now, so it doesn’t really bother me. What’s nice is seeing their face now and then, knowing that all is well, and spending more than a couple of minutes before running into the house. The children do so much better at this community ‘thing’ and personal people connection.


However, I have to run now. I’ve got to get in my car, run to the store and come back to my home space. See you and speak to you in a week or two, if there is anything worthwhile to say. Otherwise, I will post the next issue of interest that I feel may help me and others make changes in the way we communicate and view our fellow man/woman/child.


I wonder if there was a movement started where people who didn’t know one another would clearly want to meet one another. I would also like to see our policemen visit our neighborhoods just to say hello and all of us to say hello back. That would be great and lead to an open dialogue and knowledge of the people living in the city. I believe it also opens up the neighborhood to one another. We become aware who lives amongst us and be an example to other communities. Happy Talking!  It is really wonderful and gives the opportunity to see each other as people who have much to offer one another as human beings.

I hope this will start someplace, and I hope that our local police department will join us in meeting the people residing in the streets of our city. Happy Living! I, Rita wish you well, and hope that the information I’ve offered will be beneficial to you and your neighborhood.

rla image resources –


HOW TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD EVEN WHEN THINGS GO AGAINST YOUR BELIEF. Are you feeling like things are going against you? In what way? Is it jobs, politics, raising a family, earning more money to be able to live better? There are so many things we become saddled with, and they become very draining. Once drained, it’s hard to build that energy and strength to see things differently.

It’s very difficult to live in a world that has so many issues that can weigh anyone down to a point of throwing up their hands.


Life changes for us practically everyday. Even when we plan something new and different, the unexpectant ……….

Source: Who Gets Credit for Constant Change?

Right or Wrong , Left or Right, Up or Down, Inside or Outside?. What is the difference? It all brings about….. Change. Who should take credit for the constant change?

Life changes practically everyday. As we plan something new and different, the unexpectant may occur out of the blue. In other words, there is nothing suspect on my radar, but changes may happen and suddenly appear without warning. What am I referring to?  Challenges! They may be temporary or forever. Challenges! Inwardly, they cause us to push ourselves to grow. Without challenges, we would pretty much stand still and never grow in knowledge or experiences. Boring! Outwardly, it may be a real struggle in meeting these challenges, which may result in big and/or small rewards and changes.

I am so upset about the world and all of its battles, challenges and misfortunes. I do not dare to expect utopia. I know there is much happening, which we must deal with in society.  The mere fact there is a deep division trying to be placed upon people of all races against one another is very sad to me. I am a true believer of GOD. We are created equal and that clearly doesn’t mean it’s the way it is.  I wonder what it will take for us to sincerely get along,  respect one another and be ‘happy for the next person’. We don’t want to be a bunch of clones, and change requires these things to happen. I love to believe, because we are all human and come in the world the same way, we would find peace with one another. A big challenge and the bigger question is….. why compete with one another over every single issue regarding life and life issues?

In society it seems to be all about what group of people is better than the other, measuring what group of people spend more money than the other when purchasing items like a home, furnishings, clothing, cars, college or who goes to the best doctor, biggest church, etc. You name it, and we challenge each other on a continuous basis. What would it take for people to just be happy for each other to achieve the positive and learn from any mistakes that are made. Life happens to us all on a day-day basis for as long as we live, who is growing and achieving anything positive in this world, on a day-day basis? That would be so awesome! Imagine how the world would change!

I’m not at all interested in making anyone change that doesn’t desire to do so. It is a burden to some and an impossibility for others. Those that want change, work hard to make it happen and live to grow in the change as well. This is to whom I am referring. There is a deep encouragement for anyone who desires to see what magnificant things may occur and lie ahead in life. However, this opportunity is open to All, as we all are created to do great things in this world. No matter your contribution, it surely matters, and thus, makes the world better and filled with ways to grow and knowledge to build upon.

Last point! Life can be like a jigsaw puzzle with moving parts. Don’t be afraid of the moving parts of change. It’s like a car with a motor, steering wheel and tires, plus all the other necessarities that are required to make a car run.  This is the perfect example of change in life. As you grow in life, expect those moving parts of your life to bring changes you may or may not welcome. However, even when unwelcomed, changes can bring a new beginning to a lifestyle that necessitates some improvement on some level. Every single person requires change to grow into something that may cause a wonderful surprise in life. Let go, and be aware there are working parts that we don’t always have control over in our life.  How did change(s) occur for you? Does anything stick out in your mind? Have the change(s) you experienced made a big difference in your day-day life/lifestyle?

Change is great. Without it, none of us would make any progress. We would be at a stand-still process and going no place fast. Maybe if there was a little robot that says we made all the changes in life that are allowed, then we would stop at a certain point and go no further. Imagine, if we were created to be a robot or a person with absolutely no desire to learn as we move ahead. It would be like being useless to yourself and/or anyone else. Using what we’ve learned to help others is the best thing we could share with another person. It’s just the thing to happen while we are in the flux of change or changing.

I am closing now. I will proceed with other things needing attention. Yet, another change in the Big Scheme of Life which causes us to experience LIFE IN CONSTANT CHANGE.  I thank GOD for the opportunity.










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Who would you ask to help you do something, or would you be reluctant?

    Have you hesitated to ask someone for help for fear of rejection or embarrassment? Why do you think it’s hard for some people to ask? Would you ask for help when things become difficult, OR  would you push through it no matter what? Would you just pretend nothing was wrong? I, personally believe for some it’s pride that may jump in and cause a person to feel embarrassed. Maybe, it’s just hard to accept help, and easier to not ask. I, your writer have had this happen to me. I assume that if I ask someone to help me, they would probably say… “I can’t.., don’t have time, no, maybe later” (of course that may never come). So, there have been times that I had to do something that would have gone much better with two people, but now, because I didn’t ask for help, it’s only me.

What is an idea? It’s a thought or suggestion as to a possible course of action. Ideas will be maximized when more than one opinion, suggestion or thought is provided. Think back, how many ideas have you offered to others, only to have them look at you like you’re strange, or ignore what you’ve said and go on with the conversation? Worse yet, they flat-out tell you ‘it is’

Since I am an interior decorator, I see this often when it comes to decorating people’s home or small office. People want to elaborate on their ideas for their space. You sometimes listen (good thing) and other times, your mind is telling “no”, but you continue to smile. I may say “that’s a great idea” only if I really feel that way. If not, I don’t knock their idea off the table, but I may ask them to elaborate more, as I interject with something that would be pleasant and add to their idea. Maybe it’s something I’ve done before, or thought about using as an idea. Nevertheless, there is sometimes when people are adamant about using something that isn’t going to do anything for the room at all. I’ve done it, and I knew it wasn’t anything I would do for myself, but it’s not about me. My point is not to be superficial, but recognize that the idea may be a good one…for that person’s taste.

So when do you actually ask for help? What would it take? Would you ask someone at work (who you weren’t exactly friends with, or a stranger (if it were necessary) or then, a friend or relative? Or, is it just easier to do-it-yourself? There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing-it-yourself, but think of how you could expand on your ideas with someone else? This is what we do to help do-it-yourself(ers) to see the joy and excitement behind sharing ideas. I really get excited with them when I can offer them a way of getting what they propose. Money is often the cause of not getting what they want, or picking something that they won’t be able to live with for more than a week. Do you know anyone whose had an issue like this or just cannot stand the choices they’ve made while in their decorative and creative mode?

Knowing when to ask for help…is not always easy, but it is easier than you think. And, you should! Most people never mind helping someone else when it necessary or needed.  Asking is the key. Pride often steps in before you and cancels out your thought to ask or the words to speak….Help!!! Don’t let your pride or mind-reading skills (you just know that person will say “no” or look at you strangely for asking) . You never know, unless you ASK. And yes, you definitely should.

Realtor Extraordinaire- The Reality of being a Realtor 09/25 by Deccorqueen | Design Podcasts.

Do..or Don’t??

I love my place of origin. Actually, I am from Brooklyn, New York. I was brought up in the City, went to school there, and had lots great friends. Of course, this was many years ago. Times change, people change and decisions lead to change. As we grow and our thinking, experiences and wants/needs change, this may cause us to begin to formulate our life in another place.

My question to you is how do you feel about your place of origin? If you’re still there, are you truly invested in your town or city? What would cause you to leave and …… could you? I didn’t think I would leave New York….ever. I was very entrenched in this city, and many of my relatives are still there. They have been there for all of their lives. It’s pretty funny when you think about how people are ‘fixed’ in their hearts and minds to “stay put.” I find this especially true of New Yorker’s. They are “fixed” and entrenched in this place. 🙂

Please do not get me wrong. There are so many places, big cities and towns where people have grown up and stay. The area has a wonderful familiarity to it consisting of all the memories, yet, there is usually, at some point, a wish to see and experience another place. It could be a place you’ve never been to before. What about a place you’ve enjoyed many times on vacations? I am reminded that vacationing some place and actually living there day-to-day can be like night/day. So, how do you make that decision? It’s going to be different reasons most probably for a family when considering a move. I don’t believe It matters greatly, whether it’s a city or a town. The whole idea at the outset is leaving what you know to go someplace you don’t know. It also could be leaving family, friends, or a great job. If you’re self-employed, you can take your business with you. However, depending on what type of business, it may take a shorter or longer time getting it up and running.

So, after all that explanation, I am here to say, “I really like Costa Rica.” It is strange, but for the last couple of months, I have felt this drive to investigate a move to that beautiful and wonderful place. It is a place of beauty, where the green of the bushes and trees are the greenest I’ve seen. The water of the sea is as blue-green as you can get, the people are wonderful and the food……hmmm….delicious. Then, I start to think it’s because I haven’t been to Costa Rica in about two years, and I’m just missing it. It always feels spiritual when I am there. Maybe, it’s because the people seem to be sincere in their actions and demeanor. Of course, I have always gone as a tourist. However, I have read and talked to people who say constantly…” Pura Vita”, the good life.

There are many ex-pats living in Costa Rica. They live there for the many reasons I have mentioned above. You know how things go.  As you go, so goes a place that seems so right. Once you’re there permanently, it may cease to be as you thought. However, as Costa Rica is now, it is like a piece of Heaven to me. It’s just that beautiful in my eyes.

The homes are similar to what we have in the United States. They sell at various levels, but there is so much lushness surrounding you. Everything is beautiful. I was wondering earlier today, would there be roaming animals, lizards and other things that would really scare me? I know they have big iguanas, as one of them ran after a friend of ours. It was only after it felt that the baby was going to be hurt or captured (who knows). It was quite funny at the time, very funny. You know that type of laughter that makes tears come to your eyes. I don’t know if they run free. I would definitely have to check that out first. That could be the buster for me. I don’t like bugs, rodents or other things that would chase or bite me.

I hear the healthcare is great, and have read about people going to Costa Rica for healthcare. It is far less expensive than in the United States. Anyway, I wanted to share this, because I love it when people seek to meet and know other people and places. It is great learning about oneself and others who are different, only  because they have different ways of doing things. In order to grow as a person, it is important that we keep changing and learning. Thereby, it’s imperative to keep investing in yourself to build your “new” self and identity. In this way, you appreciate your values, your contribution to this world as a person, and know you have knowledge, love and possibly a vision or message to share with others. After all, there is only one of you, and not another exactly like you. Even a twin or someone from a larger multiple birth have individuality.

And, there are beautiful places on this earth that are like no other place. They have a special thing that holds your heart. They may look similar, but they are different! What place holds your heart?


Starting project.

RE.- Up and getting ready for a change.

So, here I am, talking about image, and I must mention that image has a place in everything. Everything you do has the  ability of making you form an opinion of “I like, or I don’t like”.  Example: you see a home from the outside. You form your opinion of what that home looks like on the inside or who lives there. There is an immediate feeling about that home.  Hence, your opinion is based on the silent image the house portrayed to you, the lawn, the appearance of the outside of the home, color, size, and other factors. This judgement is made in seconds, not minutes. The particular feeling about this house  will be remembered until something else replaces it.

It’s the same way when you see someone. It doesn’t have to be anyone you know. You look at a picture of someone and the opportunity arises for you to come in front of that person before any words are spoken. Based on the fact you have no knowledge of this person,  you form an opinion, perhaps based on how they dress, how they look, their home, car, way of speech and other type of preconceptions already held. This takes place in seconds!

Image is a sensory experience or a mental picture of oneself or an object. We are all in a place to make judgement calls when we read something, hear something or see something. We, often times, don’t  realize we’ve done it. How about talking to someone on the telephone that you’ve never seen, never met and know nothing about. It could be a wrong number. What does that person look like in your mind’s eye? You have an image based on the voice. Yes, it’s human nature. We react probably more than we act. I want to tell anyone who is reading this blog that image is a part of your everyday life. What we see, experience through someone else remains so unless something else comes to take its place. Image changes from one moment to the next. At times, it may give you a different opinion after the first reaction. The same applies to you, as a person. You see someone or someone sees you without any introductions; a perfect stranger. You size up this person in just a few seconds. You think you know a lot about this person, but really you know nothing more than your eyes can see. You don’t even know their voice tone, the colors they like, or wear most often, etc.

Image is fascinating. Your sensory perception begins to work hard when you are at a place where there lots going on. In a crowded place, you may see many people for the first time. You have already formed so-called opinions of each one; some more than others. You go to visit someone, but even before you reach your destination you’ve formed an opinion of  how things are going to go; who will be there and your thoughts of who they are and what they do. Then, once you’ve reached your destination, what are your thoughts? You may have forethought of what you think will happen and the people you will deal with. Therefore, based on that determination, you like  it or you don’t. Do you always have a reason why you like or don’t like someone or something? I like to write about image, and in fact, I will probably do a radio show about how important image is, and everyone has one. It is an opinion, or sometimes even a judgement,  by another person who you may not have ever met. While I speak of image, I want to be sure we all understand that it happens in silent mode at times. We do, at times, remember and still judge others based on the first image of connection.

It is almost impossible to meet someone for the first time and not form an image of that person. In fact, in my mind, it doesn’t happen. There is always an opinion formed for those we meet the first time to the 50th, 60th, 100th time. We are always making  judgement calls on one another, and none of us are perfect. Therefore, we should note we are connected to one another as humans, and it is normal and natural to prejudge or assume, although this is not a positive action. What would be nice is if we didn’t do all this pre-judging, and just let emotions and thoughts come in a quiet, good way. It is always nice to see if you can really find out the truth about what you’re thinkinghe people you hear about and haven’t met. As you can see this topic really interests me. I actually used to give talks to colleges and major companies about projecting  positive image. There is only one opportunity to make a great first (1st) impression. Why have I blended this in with my decorating? Because, it’s essential that people acknowledge themselves as a bigger part of the message the home is portraying. After all, when someone compliments you on your home or anything else, they have already formed their opinion about both, and they like you.

Accentuate Home Styling & Consulting offers online and in person consultations to assist you in building a decorating plan for your next DIY project. We look forward to hearing from you.

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